Friday Chuckles

Because it’s Friday, and because we’re all weary of the grinding rationalism that comes along with the science/faith debates, and because, well, just because this so darn silly (and, unfortunately, true), here’s a link that catalogues and offers sometimes hilarious commentary about the bizarre world of church names these days.

Some of my favourites, beginning with a necessarily lengthy honourable mention list:

4. Elevation (U2 songs every bloody Sunday.)

6. Renovation (You can do it! God can help.)

10. Soma (Our pastor knows Greek.)

14. The Rock (If film producer Michael Bay ever created a church…the pyrotechnics are amazing.)

21. Imago Dei (Our pastor knows Latin… well, one phrase anyway.)

24. Passion City (Not to be confused with the adult superstore on I-94.)

26. Paradox (Modernity sucks.)

30. Tapestry (Our pastor really loves that “the quilt doesn’t make sense until you turn it over” illustration. Uses it all the time.)

34. Generation (X? Y? Pepsi? I’m confused.)

38. Relevant (Your name is writing checks the preacher may not be able to cash.)

41. Illuminate (The lights are on but nobody’s home.)

52. Expedition (Anything with an “x” is cool.)

58. A Village Community (Ambiguity is the best way to avoid controversy.)

64. Urban Refuge (AKA the suburbs.)

86. The Cause (Because our marketing consultant told us 20-somethings are activists.)

90. NorthPointe (Adding an “e” tells everyone we’re sophisticated. We drink lattes.)

112. Life On The Vine (Even poop is organic.)

121. Axis (For a generation raised to believe the world revolves around them.)

129. Liquid (Where the meat of the Word is processed and blended into delicious and nutritious shakes for the busy consumer Christian on the go.)

The runner-up (mostly as a tribute to the immortal Frank Costanza) is:

25. Oasis Church (Serenity Now! Serenity Now!)

And the (scarcely believable) winner:

8. enCompass (Wii th-|-nk [outside] the box. We R crAtiVe.)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.