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Posts from the ‘Just Plain Weird’ Category

Nov 13

4 Comments

Crime and Punishment

My morning has been punctuated with a handful of giggly messages linking to an article published in the London Free Press today. Apparently, a junior hockey player with the OHL’s London Knights was ejected from a game on November 6 and subsequently slapped with a hefty five game suspension. What was his crime, you might be wondering? Did he take out a few teeth with a vicious cross check? Leave the bench to get involved in a melee? Concuss someone with an elbow to the head or a hit from behind? No, none of these things. His transgression was to call a player on the opposing team a “Mennonite.” Read more

May 25

7 Comments

On Demons, Soul-Sucking Disillusionment, and Keeping Christianity Strange

Over breakfast with friends today, the conversation inevitably turned to the latest murderous school shooting in America (yes, the second half of that sentence is truly insane; as if there should or could ever be a “latest” in such a grotesque category). “What would possess someone to do such a thing,” someone asked? “Maybe the word ‘possession’ is an apt one,” I almost offhandedly opined. Maybe there was something demonic going on. How else to explain such evil? We reach for extreme explanations for things that seem unexplainable. There was an awkward pause before we moved on to safer explanatory terrain. Drugs. Mental health. Social isolation. Violent video games. Yeah, probably. Read more

May 21

13 Comments

When the Guy You Baptized Won’t Take Your Call

Half a decade or so, I watched from the window of my study as a beat-up old truck covered in mud pulled into our church parking lot. I think it was on a Tuesday morning, just like today. The driver just sat there for a while. I watched from my window, puzzled. Were they lost? Confused? Was the Tim Hortons parking lot across the road full and they were just looking for a peaceful place to nurse their double double? Were they actually in the right place but struggling to muster the courage to come inside? Eventually, a young man opened the door tentatively made his way into the building. I’ll call him Duane. Read more

Apr 24

3 Comments

The Weirdest of Animals

Human beings are by far the weirdest of all God’s creatures. I say this with all due respect to the wild and extravagant diversity of the animal kingdom, much of which, regrettably, I remain woefully ignorant. The species of our world are truly bewildering both in number and variety, and their capacity to astonish and confound seems virtually limitless. But we are by far the strangest of the bunch. Read more

Aug 23

8 Comments

Dream On

Schlaflosigkeit. The German word for insomnia.

Our family is currently visiting dear friends in Germany and my body is performing its usual stubborn revolt against the rude imposition of foreign time zones and unfamiliar schedules. I’ve been tossing and turning since five am after only falling asleep around one. Eventually, as always, I give up. Sleep has never been the kind of thing I can force. Read more

Oct 20

6 Comments

Charlie Sheen is a Winner and So Am I!

The sun is shining, it’s currently 25 degrees Celsius here in southern Alberta (in late October!), and I am feeling very warm and fully of sunny goodness. It’s not just the glorious weather, mind you. I’ve been feeling particularly grateful for the flood of affirmation that has been pouring into my WordPress dashboard from the innumerable thoughtful, considerate spammers out there (I mentioned these lovely folks in a recent post) who evidently spend long hours toiling to come up with just the right words to keep me feeling encouraged, motivated, and appreciative.

What follows is a sampling of the many sincere, warm-hearted tokens of affection and admiration that these dear people have personally delivered to me, which I have carefully preserved over the past few weeks. My heart swells with pride and hope for the human race just reading them: Read more

Jun 16

36 Comments

On Oprah’s Tea and Other Flood-Worthy Inanities

I was sitting in a local Starbucks this afternoon when I saw the most absurd thing in the history of humankind: a big glossy advertisement for a product called an “Oprah Chai Tea Latte.” Alongside pictures of what I can only imagine must be very tasty delights indeed (iced or hot) was a (larger) picture of a beaming Oprah Winfrey, lending her teeth, her hair, her celebrity to this product. What does Oprah have to do with chai tea lattes, you might wonder? I certainly did. Did Oprah Winfrey make this chai tea? Did she create the recipe? Did she enjoy drinking this tea in some kind of unique way? Does she own the tea? Did she import it for our benefit? The advertisement didn’t tell us. It simply presented a picture of Oprah, a picture of tasty beverages and assumed that we would make (invent?) the connection. Read more

Sep 10

8 Comments

The Beginning is Near

It’s fall in southern Alberta, which seems to mean, if the last two years are any indication, that it is end-times prophecy season at a local hotel. Last year, it was “Unlocking the Prophecy Code” and the promotional material came adorned with all kinds of sinister looking beasts and fiery looking scenes. According to a recent flyer I received in the mail, this year’s theme is equally cheery: “Preparing for Economic Armageddon!” Speaker Darrell Beaudoin, who is “considered by many as an authority on Bible prophecy,” will apparently outline the “imminent global crisis” as well as provide guidance to his listeners regarding how they can be “survivors.” Sounds exciting. Read more

Oct 31

On Prophecy Codes and Personal Identity

My trip to the mailbox this afternoon was rewarded with a very curious artifact courtesy of the folks at Amazing Facts Ministries. A gleaming red poster with a sinister looking multi-headed creature emerging from the sea, and a sultry woman with a cross around her neck and a chalice in her hands provided the backdrop for the following headline:

UNLOCKING THE PROPHECY CODE

Over 2000 Years She Has Waited for Her Chance—Now it Has Come!

Read more

Jul 10

2 Comments

Two-Question Test

I’ve been back in my hometown for just over a week now and the re-acclimatization process continues. Six years away is enough time for things to feel a mixture of completely familiar and completely foreign (if that makes any sense). One of the most obvious things that stands out to me thus far is the different religious climate in southern Alberta compared to the west coast. Read more