Skip to content

Posts from the ‘The Lighter Side’ Category

Jan 27

12 Comments

An Hour at the Mall

On the way back from a weekend conference, my wife says she wants to stop at the mall.  Just for an hour or so.

I don’t like malls.  Especially huge malls like this one.  I don’t like the idea of the mall or the reality of the mall.  I don’t like the orgy of reckless consumption that they represent.  I don’t like the bright lights and the crappy pop music that bleeds incessantly through the speakers.  I don’t like the labyrinthine layouts that seem designed to trap and confuse me, imprisoning me in the mall’s frightful and constricting embrace. 

All of this not liking was pulsing through my brain as I (wisely, no doubt) replied, “Sure.  Let’s go to the mall.” Read more

Jan 14

10 Comments

On Having a Heart

I was out driving around running errands and listening to sermon podcasts today when I was confronted by one of those religious clichés that drives me nuts. I’m not talking mild irritation here, but full-on, pull-out-your-hair (if one is fortunate enough to have hair) and scream-at-the-steering-wheel-in-self-righteous-indignation nuts. It is a term or a way of speaking that I have loathed for a very long time—a hatred that undoubtedly says more about me and my own private insecurities and neuroses than it does about the term itself or the person who is using it. But still. It is an expression/way of speaking that I really, really don’t like.

You might be wondering what term could possibly inspire such an intemperate reaction. Ok, here it is: “I just have a heart for ____.”   Read more

Dec 13

10 Comments

One Fine Mess: A Parable of Grace

I know a girl who loves to laugh. She has a smile that can light up a room and a kind and compassionate heart that loves to seek out the sad, the lonely, the forgotten. She is also, like many kids her age, a little forgetful, a bit careless at times. Her head has been known to wander up into the clouds, far from the more terrestrial concerns that occupy the minds of her parents and other adults in her life. She doesn’t do many things quickly.  She cheerfully lives life at her own pace.

Read more

Aug 5

8 Comments

The Club

Among my discoveries on two long days spent on my recently acquired motorcycle was that I am now part of a club. I’m not sure if it qualifies as an “elite” club yet or not, but we have our own equivalent of a handshake and everything. Every time you pass a motorcyclist on the highway you will be greeted by “the wave” from your fellow “two-wheeler.” Well, most of the time. More on that later.

Read more

Jul 11

4 Comments

Me, Myself, and I

This afternoon, I was browsing around The Pessimist website and briefly flirted with the idea of actually buying something. What, you might ask, was I doing on this site? Well, aside from the fact that it’s a great website (see “The Pessimist’s Guide to Working From Home” which, in addition to being flat-out hilarious, pretty much exactly matches parts of my experience), it’s mostly a sad and predictable story of bouncing around from link to link and then, fifteen minutes later thinking, “Um, how did I get here and what am I doing?!” I didn’t buy anything (although I still kinda want to), but I did get to the “checkout” stage where I was greeted by the following delightful message:

Your shopping cart, like your impoverished soul, is empty.

How can you not appreciate such humour? Read more

Jul 8

21 Comments

“How Do We Know That God is Real and Zombies Aren’t?”

What if we just made God up?

The question came not from a despairing parishioner or a reader of my blog or an inquisitive university student at a trendy coffee shop. No, the question came from my twelve-year-old son at a sushi joint last weekend while drumming on the table with his chopsticks in between green tea and California rolls. Read more

Jun 12

4 Comments

No One is Born Bad (or, Babies are Really Cute)

If I ever do bite the bullet and buy a PVR it will almost be exclusively due to my hatred of television commercials. The prospect of skipping over every moronic attempt to sell me something is a delicious one indeed. But I’m also cheap. What to do? Such are the weighty conundrums of my life.

Anyway, I usually try to hit the mute button when the commercials come on, but I was a little slow on the draw the other night while the kids and I were watching the hockey game. And once this commercial started, well, there was no way the kids were letting me mute it. This comes to us courtesy of People for Good: Read more

May 28

8 Comments

For Sale

I spent part of this past weekend reading Eli Pariser’s The Filter Bubble. The book is about the personalization of the Internet—about how companies like Google and Facebook and Amazon (to name just a few) are buying and selling information about us in order to “customize” search engine results, provide “recommendations” based on past purchases and assumed preferences, to suggest links and articles, to “connect” us with like-minded people or potential romantic partners, etc. Pretty thoughtful of them, right? I thought so too. Read more

May 22

8 Comments

Maintenance Check

When I was in my twenties, I swore I would never drive a van. Vans were spectacularly uncool, boring, gasoline-sucking behemoths that middle-aged people who had given up on life and ideals drove. Vans were for tourists. Or people who went to Disneyland with whiny kids who were never satisfied. Never! Not for me. I would drive a trendy Euro-wagon or something. I would get a roof rack for extra storage. I would drive just about anything but a van!

I am now in my thirties. I drive a van.

[Sigh] Read more

May 21

5 Comments

On Alien-Angels with Evil-Detectors… and Horses

As I’ve remarked on numerous occasions here, I have over the years found kids—my own and others’­—to be among the most reliable and thought-provoking sources of theological insight that God has seen fit to gift me with.  I love their questions, the way in which they process things, and, perhaps most important of all, the delightful irreverence and curiosity with which they approach many religious ideas that so many of us grown ups have spent years dutifully affirming. Read more

Jan 7

8 Comments

Monday Miscellany

It’s Monday morning, the kids are back in school, my Christmas flu finally seems to have released me from its miserable grip. A New Year has begun, and life is back to normal. A couple of miscellaneous topics and ideas for a Monday morning, then. These have very little to do with one another other than that they have been collecting dust either in my brain or in my “drafts” folder over the past little while. If this comes across as a rambling mess, or a series of incoherent rants, well, I blame on the accumulation of weeks worth of flu medication which has undoubtedly scrambled my brain. Read more

Oct 30

8 Comments

U-Turn

I got a traffic ticket on Sunday.

It was an ugly exclamation point at the end of an exhausting weekend. My wife had been in Calgary for a seminar and I had been going nonstop from about Friday noon until Sunday evening. Volleyball tournaments, swim meets, soccer games, piano recitals, a communion service, church meetings, kids’ social gatherings… It just seemed to go on and on. There was just one thing left to do on a late Sunday afternoon before an enjoyable evening with friends beckoned, and that was to drop my son off so that he could get a ride to soccer practice. We stopped at the place where he was to be picked up.  I then proceeded to make a U-turn to head off for supper. And then, the ominous red and blue lights in my mirror.  Read more

Aug 23

17 Comments

The Movies

Our kids are at summer camp this week which means that for the past four nights my wife and I have had been faced with the glorious burden of determining what to do with a free evening. It has not been a particularly onerous burden. Casual nights out, leisurely walks, eating supper whenever we want, sleeping in a bit longer than usual, not having to clean up the house nearly as often—it’s been lovely. Of course we miss the kids terribly and can’t wait for them to come home and all that, but still. It’s been great. Read more

Jul 27

6 Comments

The Spectacle

Exactly two minutes from the time I began to write this sentence, the opening ceremonies for the Games of the XXX Olympiad will begin in London. And, for the first time that I can remember, I find that I could not care less. It’s strange because I like sports. Quite a lot, in fact. But so far, I have precisely zero interest in this ceremony or these Olympic Games.  Read more

Jun 8

A Beautiful Time for the Beautiful Game

Ah, it’s a beautiful time of year to be a fan of the beautiful game. The European Championships from Poland and Ukraine start in 60 minutes, Canada plays its first game of the second round of 2014 World Cup Qualifying later today in Cuba—and, to top it all off, the U12 team I coach broke a streak of who knows how many losses in a row with a draw and a win this week!!   Footballing life is good.   Read more

Jun 6

5 Comments

Hidden Treasures

My son has always been a bit of a hoarder. Ever since he could walk, he would collect things while we were out and about—sticks, rocks, discarded toys, little pieces of plastic, empty cans… whatever. Going for a walk with him was always an adventure because you never knew what you would come home with (and would subsequently spend the rest of the week picking up around the house or finding underneath his pillow!). To this day, his room is a cluttered mess of “treasures” that he has discovered whilst walking to and fro about town.

Read more

Jan 23

5 Comments

Monday Miscellany

A few miscellaneous thoughts on a quiet Monday off…

Our local library recently acquired a bunch of stock from a movie rental store that went out of business, so my wife and I have been watching movies a bit more often than usual lately. I still feel pretty out of touch with what is good and/or popular out there, but being able to watch movies for free is giving me a chance to do a bit of risk-free exploration :). Read more

Nov 4

4 Comments

Talk About the Weather

It’s November 4 and snowing in southern Alberta. Not a lot of the white stuff is expected over the next two days and there will likely be little trace of it by Sunday, but it’s still snow. And it’s still only early November. And it’s still a reminder of a harsh prairie winter ahead. Read more

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »